Feminist high school boys declare: “I am a feminist”

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hernameiskyl:

feminist boys make my heart melt

Originally posted on Feminist Teacher:

Thinks boys can’t be feminists? The seven boys who have taken my high school feminism class in the last two years disagree. They even got together to make a video to share the ways in which feminism has made an impact on their lives as young men.

“My reason for taking the feminism course is that especially in high school, there’s not opportunities like this that come around, ever,” says Bruke, a high school senior who took my feminism class when he was a junior in the fall of 2012.

“At one point, we wrote an intersectionality essay, and that taught me that nothing is really one-dimensional. Like you can’t just be black. You can be black and gay; or like black, gay, disabled. There are many different things that don’t relate to the master narrative,” Nathaniel, senior, who also took my course in 2012 and later appeared with Gloria…

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Calling All Feminists

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This post was originally posted on the Utah NOW blog – http://www.utahnow.org/calling-all-feminists/

I recently met someone who told me that I was the first feminist they have ever met.

My surprise and disbelief lead me to ask the same question in different ways…

“You’ve never met another feminist before?” … “A woman has never identified as feminist to you?” … “So, you don’t know anyone involved in feminism?”

As he told me that my slightly altered questions were not going to eventually lead to the answer I wanted to hear, a feeling of sadness began to settle inside me.

How could an American man in his 30s never cross paths with a feminist in his entire life?

Instead of dwelling on the misfortune of this circumstance – I chose to be grateful that at least he knows one now. And I am choosing to encourage more people to not only identify as feminists, but to publicize their feminism.

It is our responsibility as feminists to keep our movement, passions, criticisms and feminist expectations and behaviors visible. We must consistently engage in conversations that challenge inequality, discrimination, patriarchy and social constructions of gender.

Feminism should be a major part of what defines us – how we see ourselves and how others perceive us. I am drawn to people who identify as feminists – just as I’m drawn to Americans in foreign countries, and women in a sea of men – we seek others whom we feel similar to. Being feminist is probably the most concrete label that defines me. And others use it to describe me. While I take pride in the introductions people make on behalf of me, such as, “This is Kyl. She’s a feminist.” These introductions also make me realize how far this movement has to go, because people are still going their entire lives without meeting a feminist. My dream is that people will go their entire lives meeting only feminists. For my dream to come true, we have to start letting people know we’re here and not going anywhere.    

I’m Kyl, I’m a feminist-activist-sociologist-sapiophile-adventurer.

Who are you?

Microsoft Word 2010 – Make Only 1 Page in Landscape Layout While Keeping Rest in Portrait Layout

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hernameiskyl:

My tech abilities just shot through the roof. Do I add this new found skill to the CV? ;)

Originally posted on Lewan IT Solutions Technical Blog:

I don’t know why this was “new” for me, but it did take a google search to figure it out. Here’s a great link that explains how to make only 1 page within Microsoft Word 2010 in a landscape layout, while keeping the rest in the portrait layout.

http://superuser.com/questions/241799/how-can-i-make-just-one-page-of-a-word-document-horizontal

Copied below for reference:

Go to the last page you want to keep vertical (Portrait) then select Page Layout | Breaks | Next Page.

enter image description here

Now click anywhere in the page where you want to have the horizontal page (Landscape) and go toPage Layout | Orientation and select Landscape

Do the same steps for the following page, the one after the landscaped one, but this time choosePortrait. Only do this if you want to restore the Portrait orientation back to normal.

enter image description here

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Oral sex is sex

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 [Art Cred: ArDem "Candy Lips"]

As a sex educator and academic researcher, I am constantly reading articles regarding sexual attitudes and behavior. Today I read an article that I am happy was written. It made me think – and made me decide to write this post (while I’m on vacation, therefore it must be a good article).

The title of the article is “Oral Versus Vaginal Sex Among Adolescents: Perceptions, Attitudes, and Behavior” and the authors are Bonnie Halpern-Felsher; Jodi Cornell; Rhonda Kropp; and Jeanne Tschann, and was published in the journal Pediatrics in 2005.

The jist of the article explained that teenagers (9th graders specifically) are:

A – more likely to have had oral sex than vaginal sex.

B – more likely to intend to have oral sex than vaginal sex.

C – more likely to perceive oral sex as less risky than vaginal sex.

Oral sex is great and common. Teenagers and adults of all ages/genders/races/sexual orientations/etc. have oral sex.
And while it is not vaginal sex or anal sex – oral sex is sex and includes vaginas, penises and anuses.
I am not here to argue whether or not people who engage in oral sex are still virgins (that’s a conversation for another time) -
What I want to accomplish with this post is to mention that like all sex – vaginal/anal/oral/etc. – there are pleasures and risks, and while oral sex is associated with less “risks” than vaginal and anal sex, it is important to be aware of what those risks are and how we can protect ourselves.

Sexually transmitted infections, such as chlamydia and herpes, can be transmitted via oral sex – for males and females.

Sexually transmitted infections don’t always come with symptoms, so it is important to be screened at a clinic for STIs if you are sexually active (including only being orally sexually active).

Sexually transmitted infections are not the end of the world, but it is best to get screened/diagnosed/treated sooner rather than later to avoid complications and to be aware of your STI status and avoid transmission to/from your partners.

Here are a couple protective tips for oral sex:

1 – Talk to your partner.
**This is by far the most important protective tip. Communicate with your sex partners [before engaging in sex]. Believe me, it CAN be a sexy conversation – because what is sexier than a person who is respectful of your body? A few good questions are:

a) “When was the last time you were tested? And did you have your mouth tested?”
**Someone can have chlamydia in their mouth, and gonorrhea in their semen/vaginal secretions, but if they only have their genitals tested, then the oral chlamydia will go undetected and untreated because the antibiotics that treat gonorrhea do not treat chlamydia.
For more info – check out: http://www.cdc.gov/std/chlamydia/STDFact-Chlamydia.htm

b) “Do you get cold sores or know if you have the herpes virus?”
**Someone who has herpes simplex 1 or/and herpes simplex 2 can transmit the virus through oral sex. If someone has genital herpes – the person performing oral sex can contract it orally. If someone has oral herpes – the person receiving oral sex can contract it genitally. Same type of thing with kissing – the virus is contagious.
For more info – check out: http://www.cdc.gov/STd/herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm

c) “Am I the only person that you are engaging in sexual behavior with?” <– I said that out loud and realized I would never say those exact words… so put your own spin on it. “Are we going to be sexually exclusive?” – “Are you having sex (vaginal/anal/oral) with anyone else?” – “How would you feel if I was having sex with other people?”
**Don’t assume that everyone practices monogamy. You get to set up your own rules with your sexual partners. You can’t really get mad at someone for doing something (or not doing something) that you didn’t discuss. Best to set up the relationship rules before becoming sexually involved so everyone is on the same page.

d) “What are you comfortable with?”
**Talk about what you’re into before, during, and after sex. And just because someone is into something one day, doesn’t mean they are into it every day. And someone may want to try something that they previously didn’t want. Always keep conversation and consent going.

2. Get tested.
**For the reasons listed above. Get tested. It’s affordable and quick and easy. Make a date out of it. Go pee in cups and then go get ice cream. Cute.

3 – Use protection.
**You can use dental dams and condoms during oral sex for protection from many STIs.

Dental dams are thin latex sheets that serve as a barrier between someone’s mouth and another person’s vulva or anus and can help reduce the risk of STI transmission.
For more info – check out: http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/std/oral/dentaldam.html 

Condoms can be used during oral sex to reduce the risk of STI transmission, but remember that condoms can only reduce the risk of what they cover. There are STIs that are contracted skin to skin (thus, why it is important to talk to your partner about their STI status).
For more info – check out: http://youtu.be/Y_zKhFXGuFo

 

Feel free to message me if you have questions. hello@kylmyers.com

K . x

A Relationship Will Not Make You Happy (So Stop Looking For Happiness There)

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hernameiskyl:

I absolutely loved this!

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:

“My significant other makes me so happy!”

“Thanks to my significant other, I finally found happiness!”

“I’m done with my significant other, they just don’t make me happy anymore.”

“Break up with your significant other, you deserve to be happy!”

When I read or hear any variation of the above quotes, I cringe and die a little inside. Why have we become people who willingly and voluntarily allow someone else to control the state of our happiness? We’ve collectively accepted that it’s totally fine to give someone else the remote control to our emotional state.

A relationship is not meant to make you happy. It is nobody’s job to make you happy (unless you’re rich and can hire someone to fulfill all your needs, then by all means!). To put an expectation on someone else that their commitment to you is a commitment to keep you in a constant state…

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A wife by any other name

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I recently wrote a post about marital name change traditions – and it is on SLC feminist. Head over there to read the whole post, and subscribe to SLC feminist while you’re at it =]

http://slcfeminist.com/a-wife-by-any-other-name/

A reader did make a great observation about something VERY important that I didn’t hit on extensively, and that is:

Women may choose to forego the surname change tradition because our names are a part of our identity. This is such an important thing to consider when/if you get married. We ARE our names – our names ARE us. I am Kyl Myers. I can’t imagine calling myself by any other name.

What do you think about name changes?

K . x